


English project gone horribly wrong

by HydrangeaJellyfish



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: A little bit trashy but whatev, Aged-Up Character(s), Bad Jokes, Dont take this too seriously ok?, Drug Abuse, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gendo being a dick, I´m sorry Mom, M/M, Mabye some adult scenes we are not sure about that yet, Marijuana, Nobody dies but look at this au it´s no better, Stupid names, This is after a true story no shit, Vegan jokes, organic food
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:19:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5978263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HydrangeaJellyfish/pseuds/HydrangeaJellyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gendo is the owner of a little store that sells organic food and thinks It´s a good idea to ilegally sell marijuana too cause why the fuck not. Kaworu works at the flower store across the street but is actually the guy who plants the stuff.<br/>Shinji gets involved in this and both fall in love.<br/>This is a project of me and my friend to practice english writing for our upcoming exams and please dont laugh but the concept of this FF is set after a true story and somehow we thought this was a good idea.</p>
<p>I am terribly sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	English project gone horribly wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My Friend Franzi who told us the origin of this story](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+Friend+Franzi+who+told+us+the+origin+of+this+story).



> Please know that some the dialogs that reflect opinions of the characters DO NOT correspond with the opinions of the authors. This is a project to develop our english skills so there might be some mistakes we missed.
> 
> Thank you for actually wanting to read this and we hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Yours truly Hydrangeajellyfish and Jägerschnitzel

Chapter 1.

The early morning peace was interrupted when Shinji heard a loud crashing noise in the room under his own.  
It was Sunday so Shinji usally would have slept until early noon if it wasnt for that sound.  
Now he was wide awake lying in his bed, the back of his head pressed to his sweaty pillow. Shinji didnt mind that.  
It was july and he lived in what used to be this house´s attic before it became his room, so it was only naturally for him to sweat during night.  
It took him a few moments of awakening before he could get up. His back arched when he stood up.  
This was a normal thing too, his matress was very thin and uncomfortable. Sometimes he wondered how it was even possible for him to sleep on such a thing but he didnt dare to ask his father for a new one unless he wants his dad to make him sleep on the floor in the future.

Shinji made his way down where the noise came from. Rubbing his aching back he realized that it had come from the living room,  
where the crashing sound had been replaced by non understandable cursing.

Looks like his dad was up.

And looks like he managed to let his legs be crushed by the cupboard.

"Oh shit" moaned his dad, lying on the living room floor with the huge cupboard over his leg.  
It was the old cupboard from his mom which was designed in vintage style with little ornaments and felt like it took a quarter of the living room.  
Shinji remembered that every time when he had played hide and seek, he hid in this cupboard.  
It was the best hiding place ever! Not only that it wasnt obvious that you could hid in a cupboard, the real hiding place were the long coats of his father inside.  
So everyone who would have looked inside the cupboard would have seen only the long line coats and thought that he must have been somewhere else.  
Once a boy ( when he was like 6 years old) searched him for 3 hours in their house...and then in the garden...  
and then in the garage and before he would have searched in the next village shinji had come out of his hiding place.  
He remembered the boy, who never gave up to finding him. Not even once.  
Shinji recalled that he had blond .. no white hair... but what had been his name....  
Until he continued staring holes into the air his dad ripped him out of his mind with a loud " Shinji !!! What are you doing ?! Help me !"

Shinji flinched: “I-I´m sorry dad! Just a sec.” , he tried heaving the cupboard alone but it was useless.  
Shinji wasnt very strong and the cupboard was way to huge for the boy to lift.  
“D-Dad...”, Shinji panted after a few more tries: “It´s too heavy. I-I cant...”  
“Oh For fucks sake!”, Gendou hissed. His face was red and distorted from all the pain but there was nothing to do.  
Shinji desperately looked around trying to find something to help but couldnt. If mom was there it would be way more easier. 

But she wasnt.

She had left Gendou and Shinji a few months ago after a Fight she and his Dad had.  
Shinji didnt remembered the exact reason only that it had something to do with Dads work.  
But Shinji didnt understand what was so wrong with that. After all his Dad only led a small Shop with Bio groceries and other products.  
He couldnt imagine what could have led his mom to be so outraged about that.  
Meanwhile Gendou had also given up on freeing himself from the cupboard and collapsed breathing heavily.  
He started to loose feeling in his leg and this was certainly not good.  
“Shinji!”, he said, “Call Fuyutsuki!”  
“Right!”, Shinji sprinted outside to knock on their neighbours door. Fuyutsuki was an old man and friend of his father although Shinji himself wasnt very fond of him. When Shinji was around Fuyutsuki would often act like he wasnt there.  
But Shinji remembered that during his childhood Fuyutsuki would have often babysit him when his parents were out.  
Back then he wasnt so bad.  
Shinji knocked on the navy blue wooden door. Fuyutsuki didnt had a bell. He was that old fashioned.  
After some minutes passed the door opened but much to Shinjis suprise it wasnt Fuyutsuki standing in front of him but a middle aged brunette woman.

“M-Mom?”, Shinji stumbled a few steps back out of suprise.  
“Shinji! What are you doing here?”, Yui said as much as suprised as her son.  
“D-Dad is stuck under the cupboard.” Shinji explained still a little bit startled. “I went to get help. I...”

Yui laid her hand on Shinjis shoulder  
“The cupboard huh? Well let´s hope that idiot didnt broke it.”, She said smiling to her son.  
“She didnt even mention dad.” Shinji thought. Not that it bothered him alot. He and his father werent so close after all.  
“Come on let´s save him”. His mom pushed Shinji back to the back door of the house.

After they took the first steps into the house a loud  
" Shinji, hurry up ! It fucking hurts!" came from the second room.  
"Be a little bit nicer to your son. It´s not his fault that his father is an Idiot"  
"Yui is that you?"  
"Which women would come to help you exept me ?" Gendou looked very surprised when his wife entered the door of the living room.  
It seemed that he forgot his pain for a few seconds.  
" Come Shinji, let us help him " The brown haired women went to one front corner of the cupboard and looked expectant at her son.  
As he noticed her glance he hurried up to the other corner.  
Shinji was never the fastest, because of that he usally was the first person who would get the volleyball in his face during sports.  
Oh yeah sports ....what could be worser than sports....blood, more sweat than in the morning and sadistic kids... oh yeah there was something.. his grumpy screaming dad with his leg under the cupboard.  
"uhm shinji... would please push to " Yuis head was nearly as red as the one of his dad  
" Oh sorry mom " 

" Shinji hurry up ! man what´s wrong with you ?!" The sweat on the forehead of his dad was nearly a waterfall. He looked a little bit like a crying tomato  
" Shut up Gendo " Yui said annoyed.  
When Shinji and Yui pulled their strenght together they managed to lift up the old cupboard. In the second when the cupboard took his old place the boy wished that he never had pulled it up.

“Geez how did you even do that?”, Yui scolded her husband while wiping the sweat from her forehead. “It´s not like cupboards suddenly go psycho or something”  
Gendou growled  
“Shut up that´s none of your buisness anyway”, he tried to stand up but failed. His damaged leg gave in as soon as he put weight on it and Gendou crashed onto the ground again.  
“Well it´s my cupboard after all! And dont get too sassy we could have left you just like that.”  
Yui rolled her eyes and glanced at Shinji pulling a grimace.  
Shinji couldnt help but smile faintly. His mother was a cheerful and kind person who also could get very intimidating sometimes.  
With her genes and Gendous who was...well Gendou, Shinji found it hard to believe that he was indeed their biological child. He was nothing like them. Not in the slightest.  
“Forget it Gendou you can’t possibly walk with that leg.”, Yui kneeled beside her husband and slided her arm under his pits supporting him while he slowly tried to stand up.  
Gendous face was still red and his pained expression showed that his leg must hurt badly.  
Yui took a few steps towards the entrance. When Shinji wasnt following she turned her head.  
“Shinji would you please help me? I guess we have to take that Idiot to the hospital. After all his leg could be severly damaged.”  
When the words “hospital” fell Gendou snapped:  
“What? NO! I have to look after the store. An important delivery is arriving today I cant be absent I...ARGH.”  
Gendou almost fell down again but didnt due to Yuis fast reflexes who could catch him just in time.

“I can watch the store if you need me to!”, Shinji said.  
After all he wanted to be somewhat helpful. Also he did not wanted to be stuck with his dad in the hospital for hours but he didnt wanted to admit that.

“That´s a great idea”  
“That´s a terrible idea!”  
Both Yui and Gendou looked at each other. Yui furious and Gendou suprised.

“I will not tolerate this Gendou!”, Yui hissed

"He is our son ! Give him a chance! "  
" I said NO ! ARGH .. goddamit" Yui didnt know what else to say.  
Gendou glanced at his son. With his thin arms and legs he looked like a ten year old boy although he was actually sixteen.  
He couldnt imagine that this boy would be a man one day  
"But. its our son... my son..He couldnt trust a stranger with this" Gendou thought while he felt the pressure of his wife next to him. ...His wife! 

Wait! Why had she been with his neighbour? What had she been doing there ? he felt a pounding in his leg and in his head too  
"Ok... but dont make a mess of my store !"  
"Y-Yeah, sure dad! " for the first time Shinji thought that his dad had a little faith into him ...and this made him happy.  
"Dont smile like this, its a serious business! I dont tolerate any mistakes of yours!"

Woah his Dad was the only person in the world who could destroy a moment like this in two seconds 

"ARGH.. so the things you must know : The delivery boy arrives at 2 o`clock, dont ask him anything! Put the package in.. ARGH "  
"I think that’s enough.I still think It´s a bad idea though!"  
Yui gave her son a worried look and guided Gendou who leaned on her shoulder to the front door.  
With the click of the closing door sound it was there... panic. Why did he say yes ?!  
Oh god what if he would do everything wrong ?! Oh god...oh god .. calm down shinji .. calm down.  
When was the delivery.. one pm .. No! No! it was 2pm Shinji turned his head and looked at the little clock in the floor.

Half past 12. He still had time until the delivery but Shinji was sure that it would be better if he´d arrived as soon as possible.  
If he was right It was Misato´s shift right now and he knew that the woman usally made a terrible mess out of the store.  
A mess Shinji had to clean up afterwards.  
“Still have to get dressed tho.”, Shinji thought. It wouldnt be a good thing if he´d arrived in pyjamas.  
He went back in his room tossing the sleeping shirt towards a corner in his room, he could clean up later.  
He stood in front of his drawer still unsure if he should go with the usual blue top under his uniform shirt or something else. It wasnt school time right now but he liked to wear it because it felt comfortable and Shinji was sure he didnt look like an idiot in it.  
But it was summer time after all and the uniform got hot after some time.  
“Oh well”, mumbling to himself Shinji grabbed blindly into the closet, pulling out a simple forest green shirt and a pair of Jeans Shorts.  
“That will do i guess”, he thought and slipped into the shorts.  
They were a little too large...he needed a belt. Where did he put the damm thing.  
Furiously searching for the belt in the mess that was his room Shinji soon tripped and landed face foward on the ground.  
“DAMMIT!”, what was going on today? First his father then him. Shinji shook his head holding back a few curse words as he realized the few blood drops on the floor.  
“What the-?”, Shinji immediately touched his face and found his fingers wet and red.

Nosebleed. Great. Shinji tried to stand up fastly and almost slipped again.  
He put his hands over his nose so the blood wouldnt drip all over the floor and ran to the bathroom. This actually happened alot.  
Especially in volleyball So shinji knew how to react.  
Digging through the bathroom supplies he found nothing but some wipes and...tampons.  
Damm he must have went out of the cotton pads he usally used for nosebleed.  
Well he was certainly not going put two tampons up his nose that would look ridiculous.  
Shinji chuckled at the thought but then remembered why he was hurrying in the first place.

Shinji went to the toilet and took some toilet paper.  
“That should work too”, he thought while he plugged the paper in his nose.  
He went to the front door and stopped for a few minutes. Take a deep breath Shinji you can do this !  
Yeah that will work! In this moment he felt his insecurance again. But it was too late for these thoughts  
...So he opened the door widely.The sun glared in his eyes, he couldnt remember that it was so sunny when he ran to Fuyutsuki.  
Maybe the weather changed.... .Gendous store was a little too far away to take the bike so he had to take the subway.  
He didnt like masses of people but he had no choice.  
The subway station wasnt so far away from his home so he took the little sidewalk which was a direct way to it. 

Five minutes later he arrived at the station.  
"Fuyusama 5 minutes " spotlights the electric shield of the saitama station.  
Apparently Shinji wasnt the only one who waited for the subway. Next to him stood a girl in a school uniform.  
She had short light blue hair , ruby red eyes and a expressionless face.  
She smelled like tulips.. yeah it was a little bit creepy that he realized something like this, but he wasnt that near a girl often.  
He stared at her body shape and her fine lips and the suddently she moved. She turned her head to Shinji who looked away fastly with a blushed face.  
When he looked back she had the same facial expression than before,but her eyes werent focused on him anymore.  
She looked at the incoming subway. Shinji was so fascinated by her that he nearly forgot to step in .  
The smell of the subway was the next sensation that hit him this day, a mix of urin and sweat.  
Anyway he took a seat and watched her from the side. He flinched at the moment the broadcaster spelled the next station 

" Next station, Jaeger-place, next station Jaeger-place, pease left the train on your left side".  
Shinji couldnt know that this station was the beginning of a awkward and horrible day. Two boys climbed in .  
The first one was very tall with black middle long hair and a nasty smell, the second one didnt have the size of the first one.  
His small eyes nearly ended at the beginning of his brown cottletes. 

" heeeeey cute girl, whats your name ?" The first one asked the girl who was the target of shinjis attention. 

" Rei" she said and didnt looked very impressed. 

" Oh hi Rei,you can call me Kevin-chan ". he said with some sort of greed in his eyes. 

" Im not interested to have any interaction with you, have nice day"  
even when she spelled these words she looked and sounded expressionless. 

" Aeeh what did you say little bitch ?! Do you think you are too good for me or something like that ?". 

"No , you just dont interest me ".

" I should show you how you should treat a real men" he almost shouted.

Suddenly his expression changed while his hand touched her hips and slided down to her butt and grabbed it.  
Shinji knew this expression, he saw this very often , Its a man who would slowly lose the control over himself.  
But what should he do ?! Interrupting them or something like that?  
But what should he do when they want to fight ? He was too weak to win a single round against these two.  
While Shinji was lost in his panicfull minds, Rei grabbed the hand of the boy.  
She squezzed it so hard that the man screamed like a baby. 

" Dont touch me " she said with her monoton voice. 

" Y-Yeah Yeah i stop ,please let my hand go". 

She took her hand away, and the boy took some steps backwards 

" Goddamit whats wrong with you ?! Come Lee, let us go" he said to the second boy.  
With his red hand in his other he left with the other boy the part of the train.  
Shinji felt useless. He had done nothing.. he hadnt helped her.. he had done nothing ...again.  
He felt the hot feeling of tears in his eyes. " Next stop Horseland, Next stop horseland, please left the train on your right side". That was Shinjis station.

The walk to the store felt like an eternity where Shinji was left alone with his own thoughts.  
He still felt terrible about the incident in the subway. But afterall he wouldnt have had a chance against these two.  
What if they were some kind of gangsters?  
He would have ended up as the second Ikari in the hospital having the blue haired girl carrying him or something.  
Shinji admired the confidence of the girl back then. Rei.  
He remembered that his mother told him once that if he would have been a girl he would have been called Rei.  
He couldnt help but think that even his female self would probably have been less of a coward but oh well this was not the time to think about different dimensions or timelines where he could have probably ended up as the opposite gender.  
This was ridiculous.  
Shinji wiped his forehead and stared at the sky. Still not a single cloud and the thermomether in the store window of a pharmacy measured 37 °C.  
He prayed to god that the air conditioner in the store still worked and Misato didnt drank all of the employeers supplies.  
Shinji stopped when he felt a buzzing in his pockets. It was probably his father asking if Shinji was already at the store.  
However he was deemed to be wrong when he unlocked the screen and opened his messenger only to find himself laughing at a selfie his mother had sended him that showed Yui posing with a blonde doctor he somehow found familiar who was pointing at an X-ray photograph at the wall  
and Gendou in the background sitting on a bed, looking very pissed.

“Clean break. Love Yui” read the caption. 

Shinji locked the screen after changing the image to his new background.  
After all it were the little things in life. He thought to himself but also questioned if it was morally justifiable to consider your fathers broken leg as something good.

Shinji managed the way to the store very quickly after that. There it is, gen-gan. Gen-gan was the name of the store. His father thought it would have been a nice idea to mix the words gendou and vegan. Although this didnt makes any sense, because the store sold organically grown food and not vegan food. Which was, contradicting to Gendous opinion, indeed a difference.They also had eggs, milk and meat from happy fat cows and chickens who ate their green grass under rainbows. Nah.. ok, that was the statement of the packaging.  
Vegan meant that they wouldnt sell anything of this in the store. Somehow it was no difference for Shinji.  
They were born to die,they all will die, so it didnt matter if they were happy before the man with the knife came.  
He opened the front door with the familiar sound of the storebell.  
When he openend the door he was really surprised.... everything looked normal. The goods standed in their place, the ground was clean and Misato... 

What ?!

W-Where was Misato ???? She wasnt there. WHY was she not there ? What should he do when costumers came ?  
Or when the package arrived ? Without her he didnt had any clear instructions . This was the second time this day Shinji had to calm down.  
And again the door bell rang. Oh no.. a customer.. ok lets go.  
When he turned back he looked into red eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> ALL HAIL KEVIN-CHAN
> 
> Rei is savage. 
> 
> So the stupidity will continue just wait. Also I blame all the stupid names on Jägerschnitzel 
> 
> See ya in the next chapter ^^/


End file.
